awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
