MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
