her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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