So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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