I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
