so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
