there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
