In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
