yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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