I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
