I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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