Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There r osticjed everywhere
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
