3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
