Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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