Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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