So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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