That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
