when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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