You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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