I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
