im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
