She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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