We're facebook friends in real life
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
