Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
