I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
