I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
