one two three fourrrrnication!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
