ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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