No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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