i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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