The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
