but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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