I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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