I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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