you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
