Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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