i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
