my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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