he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
