I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize