He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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