how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
