I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
