I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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