Yo dont text me then not text me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
