Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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