Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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