Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize