I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This house was built for laser tag.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
