I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
