the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
