I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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