I can text with my tongue
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
