Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
