Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize