i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this will be a night to untag.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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