I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
