I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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