Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
