the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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