he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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