He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
